was the last time in my human life that I ever will get to kiss my mother's sweet face, hear her take her last sweet breath, hear her whisper in my ear, watch her fight the toughest battle, yet faithfully release her back to where she belonged. I miss her with each passing day and can't believe it has been 6 years already. The years have been long, some tough and others more joyous. I tend to dream of all the "would have" and "should have" beens. I seems to miss her and yearn to talk to her more now that Alison is getting older. She was a great mom, and I wish I could just pick up the phone and call her for some great parenting advice. (most of you know..Missy is getting a big attitude already!) I believe that if my mom was still here my family would be alot closer and people wouldn't give me the crap that they do. I would always have someplace to go without ever feeling like I am intruding, an honest ear to listen as I vent my frustrations out about life and infertility, she would include me in whatever she was doing always, and most importantly I would make her proud because I am trying to be such a good mom. I cringe when I hear and see people taking advantage or not appreciating having their moms around. I would travel to the ends of the earth just to have one last hug..
Christmases just aren't the same anymore. Dad never decorates the house and the traditions have just seemed to disappear. I am trying to keep old traditions alive while starting new ones but it just isn't easy. Decorating the house for Christmas with her was one of my favorite things to do. She would make my dad put up millions of lights, Santa and Frosty on the roof, decorated the windows, and most importantly every inch of the house had a some sort of decoration. Greg insists on having a fake which I totally dispise! As an "compromise," I am still supposed to get a real christmas tree...well that isn't happened in the last three years!! Anyways..done venting about that..so I decided that since I was back down to a 4 foot and 5 foot trees..I would dedicate them to her. Here are a pictures of them....
Mom,
You will always be an inspiration in my life. You have taught me life lessson that I will never forget. You instilled the importance of God in your life, the importance of family, and most importantly the drive to be a good person! And as we celebrate the holiday spirit, I can't help but wonder what kind of celebrations have at the happiest place beyond the earth. I love you more with each ticking minute...one day we will be together again..
Love Always,
Me
5 comments:
Steph, the trees are beautiful! I have a purple one on the hill at Mom's place. Oh, and feel free to stop here anytime you like to get advice, vent, talk babies, or just visit! The door is always open.....unless I'm at work! I know how hard it is without your mom, but I believe she still hears, and our moms are close enough to see our daily happenings, and be proud of all we do!
Stephanie, What a beautiful remembrance of your mom you wrote. The trees are gorgeous, and so is she. I know what it is like to want so badly to have our moms here. I miss my mom every day. I know she is so proud of you and the wonderful mom and person you are. It is very comforting to me to know that we will be together again - in a much more beautiful place.
Mija
Yes, I miss her so much too, especially right around the holidays, it so hard shopping, since that was our thing to do until all hours of the night. You remember are all nighters!
I can only imagine how much you miss her and I know she is looking down at you and your family, sending you signs to comfort you and telling you she loves you, she is so proud of the woman and mother you've become. I am here for you baby girl, you know my door is always open for you and for whatever you need.
I promised your mom I would do my best to take care of you and your sisters, I love you girls with all my heart......I hope you never forget that.....the tears are welling up in my eyes because I just want you to know how much I love you, Ali, Jen and Michelle.
Love Nina
Beautiful! All of it! I am sure she loves the trees.
I always carry a piece of something with me that reminds me of the people I miss in my life, it looks like you carry a piece of her inside you as you have her passion for decorating (photos,Alison,xmas) :) You wont have to worry about being alone or ever forgetting her because the times where others call for advice you keep her memory alive by asking yourslef what she would do in your shoes and just being able to have those memories are the greatest gifts you can give her.
That was a beautiful post about your mother. No doubt she is so proud of you and so grateful that you are carrying on traditions and taking to heart the life lessons that she taught you.
The trees are beautiful too, and what a great idea!
Merry Christmas!
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